A Wish for My Kids

My dearest children,

Life is NOT always easy. But, ultimately, your happiness (my wish for you) will come from how YOU feel about yourselves...when you're alone. 

At the end of one's life, in one's last days, no one looks back wishing they had worked more, had a better car, lived in a cooler place, had bigger biceps, better hair, thinner ankles, or made more money. Their regrets (The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying) were regrets of the heart and soul. 

But, with a little courage, if you'd like to dive deeper into life (beyond "going through the motions"), I believe you can and will experience a satisfaction and peace that so many seem to desire and/or regret missing in the end. 

So, if you do ultimately want to take the plunge into the deep end of this "life thing" (in your journeys ahead), it won't be easy, either. Based on what I've learned (so far) I wish for the four of you the strength and the courage to:

• feel, appreciate, and explore ALL your emotions
• express your emotions 
• know anger is usually just hurt, with no place to go
• admit when you're hurt
• cry in sadness, pain, and joy
• cry for and with others
• be strong enough to admit weakness 
• ​accept being wrong
• blame less, understand more
• ​apologize, deeply and sincerely
• treat others as you'd like to be treated
• treat old folks (now) how you'll want to be treated
  
  ...and the courage to:
  
  
• step out of your "comfort zones"
• not feel obligated to "fit in"
• "be who you are" (a dying man's advice)
• admit your mistakes and forgive yourself
• appreciate your scars
• know that we're all flawed...just differently
• accept others in spite of their flaws
• forgive others for their mistakes (big & small)
• accept that we ALL make mistakes (small & big)
  
  ...and the courage to:
  
  
• be empathetic, to TRULY "walk in others' shoes"
• recognize that there's usually a reason "why"
• express gratitude for little things
• be kind to the kind and the unkind  
• offer your last bite
• share your last bite
• give, simply to make others happy
• be generous of heart & soul
• find the good in others (even if not obvious)
  
  ...and the courage to:
  
  
• risk ridicule while standing up for a cause
• try, in the face of fear
• try again, in the face of failure
• just plain try
• be vulnerable
• c​ome out from behind "the wall"
• ​wear your heart on your sleeve
• hug
• offer hugs to others
• look into others' eyes
• look into your children's eyes
• love wholeheartedly
  
  ...and the courage to: 
  
  
• think funny thoughts
• be silly in the presence of others
• dance alone in a crowd
• live beyond lists​, tasks, & busyness 
• live beyond fabricating appearance
• not live for a long obituary
  
  ...and the courage to:
  
  
• reflect, ponder, and explore your thoughts
• be curious
• grow a teeny tiny bit each day 
• explore the "whole" you
• accept the "whole" you
• love the "whole" you​
• share the "whole" you
  
  ...and the courage to:
  
  
• be present, without judgement 
• hold space for others
• find happiness in moments, each day
• know, in your heart, that you are "enough"

But, more than anything...it's really just a wish for the four of you to have long, healthy, and whole-hearted happy lives...one day at a time. 

Love always,

Dad